Christmas 2005

This year we did something different on Christmas. At the end of the day, after all the bustle was over, our close friends came to visit. We had one more round of pie and ice cream accompanied by a cup of espresso (or Americano if you prefer--decaf at that time of day); and here's my favorite part...we all did Qigong together.

Qigong is a Chinese healing system. It originally was developed as a balance to Kung Fu, the martial art.

We had fun! I felt better for having done the exercises. There is something about moving in unison, as if in a dance: We were together, moving together, doing something good for ourselves and each other.

It doesn't get any better than that, does it?

What is your favorite memory of the season? Maybe you celebrate something other than Christmas...tell me about your experience.

I'd love to hear.

Wanda Tucker, Coach

For the Earth

I've moved...

You'd never know it from just looking, but I am now in a new location.

After 19 years in the same office, I have moved to a new suite with kindred practitioners. I am grateful for the good long run I had in my old office. I am looking forward to the next phase in my new office. It is full of possibility. We all feel it.

AND...a truly exciting feature is that we are turning the office into a "mini gallery" for an artist friend of mine. She is a painter, photographer, shaman, psychotherapist, and coach. Visit her web site For-the-Earth.com. The energy of her work is amazing. It exudes healing and transformation.

Ah, yes...we are truly blessed.

(If you want to know about our open house, send me an email.)

'til next time ~

Wanda Tucker, Coach

(photographs by Jeanette French ~ printed with permission)

Radio Days: Gratitude

(Bubbles in espresso - Photo by Wanda Tucker; copyright 2005; all rights reserved.)

Yesterday I was a guest on The Coaching Corner with Irene Gutmann at wrcr in Rockland County, New York. We had a fun time talking about gratitude.

It is amazing how fast a half hour goes on the radio! And Irene was a very relaxed seamless host. With Thanksgiving coming up here in the U.S. we thought the topic is timely.

I understand that the live stream wasn't working at the web site for wrcr, so if you want to hear the show, send me an email and I'll get it to you somehow. Irene will send me a tape once she gets copies made. I just received a message from her saying that she may keep this show in her "best of" file for future reference.

So what about gratitude?

What are the benefits?

Here's a partial list:

• Taking time to be grateful can change your outlook on life,
• make you feel better,
• even cause you to be more optimistic.
• By focusing on what is good, we can achieve more balance (i.e., not just focus on what is "wrong").
• Sleep may improve when we focus on what we are grateful for at bed time and let go of what is bothering us.
• Being more relaxed as a result of gratitude practice may even help lower blood pressure. (Sorry, I don't have the research to prove this. It is my belief.)

This isn't about being a Pollyanna and not paying attention to those things which we can do something about. It is about giving us a new outlook: an attitude of gratitude.

How to do it?

Developing a Gratitude Practice is easy. There is no one right way to do it. Do what works for you. That being said, here are a couple of ideas that might be useful to you:

1. Find an Anchor. An anchor is like a trigger. Each time you come across your anchor, you "remember" to do your practice. You can anchor to time, place, object, or activity, for example:

• Time - every day at 8:00 a.m. and/or 8:00 p.m. (Choose the time that is best for you.)
• Place - whenever you are in the kitchen or the bathroom or your car. (Think what this would do for road rage if everyone were to try it!)
• Object - whenever you are at a red traffic light or see a fire hydrant. Any object will do--a pencil, a computer....
• Activity - whenever you brush your teeth, fold laundry, wait for a web page to load.

2. Find things or concepts or issues of all sizes to be thankful for. It is easy to be thankful for our family and friends, having enough to eat, living in a place where we can be free. Think of tiny things and huge things and medium things: like the beauty of the bubbles in your coffee cup, people who are working to end world hunger, having a warm house in the winter.

3. Stretch yourself. Think of at least one new thing to be grateful for each time you do your practice. Try being grateful for something that didn't go the way you had hoped or planned, because it gives you the opportunity to learn a new way.

Let me know how your practice goes.

Let me know now, some things you are grateful for.

Blessings to you all,

Wanda Tucker, Coach

Misi

Here she is--the lovely lady of the house. She tends to be a bit spooky. So far, this is the best picture I have been able to get of her. She is outside, looking through the kitty door to see what awaits her upon entry.

Just me...with the camera.

Marty is probably asleep in the closet. Not a bad idea.

Where do you like to go to rest? Where is your favorite napping place?

Rest consciously. Rest often. Conserve your energy. Use it wisely.

Wanda Tucker, Coach

First Aid for Trauma

Every day we experience or witness more trauma. Whether the trauma is on a grand scale (the war, Katrina) or a smaller one (losing your wallet, finding a ding in the paint), whether it happens to you or the people around you, trauma takes its toll. We suffer. It hurts. Trauma saps our energy. We have trouble sleeping. Sometimes we have trouble eating. We are cranky.

We try to keep a stiff upper lip, but the accumulation of unresolved trauma or the sheer overwhelm of too many traumatic events happening so close together that we can't metabolize everything can wear us down. Being brave and acting like nothing affects us doesn't work over time.

In the face of so much chaos, suffering, and loss, we can only do what we can do. Some pray; some send money; some offer shelter or succor; some go lend a hand--literally. Some choose less constructive means for dealing with their feelings.

In this installment, I offer you first aid for trauma. You can use this on yourself. You can share it with friends and family. You can even use it on your pets. Whether you are affected directly by the rage of the storm and events in your own life, or your trauma comes from watching, reading, or hearing about what happens to others, this intervention can help.

TRAUMA TAP

This sequence of points shown in the pictures below make up a first aid intervention for trauma. It can be used on physical or emotional trauma, old or new. Before I give you the instructions, I want to give credit to Dr. Roger Callahan (originator of Thought Field Therapy) and Dr. Helen Tuggy who developed this intervention.

In the pictures below, Jasmin Hughes demonstrates the location of the acupuncture points used for this first aid treatment. However, instead of needles (as in acupuncture) you can activate the points for yourself by tapping on them with your fingers.

These five points, when activated by tapping in sequence can alleviate the discomfort, pressure, or emotional charge that is built up as the result of trauma. Here, Jasmin uses one finger on the points in order to indicate more clearly where they are, but you can use two or more fingers when you tap on yourself.

The points are very forgiving. You only need to be in the correct area when you tap. If you are not on the precise point, the treatment will still work.

While thinking about your trauma and focusing on what you are feeling in your body, use one or more fingers to tap several times on each of these points in this order:

1. Under the eyes

This point is directly below the pupil on the cheek bones.

2. Under the arms
On the side seams about four inches below the armpit, most people find a tender spot. That is the target for this point. The points are level with the nipple line.

(An alternate way to reach these points is to cross your arms, as if you are giving yourself a hug, so your right hand taps your left side and your left hand taps your right side.)

3. Eyebrows
The eyebrow points are at the inside end of the eyebrow, closest to the nose.

4. Collarbones

At the base of the throat is a notch in the bone--the top of the breast bone (or sternum).

Put your two index fingers in that notch. Then move them down the center line one inch and away from each other (toward the shoulders) one inch.

Your fingers will be under a "knob" on each side. That knob is the sternoclavicular joint.

5. Little finger
At the tip of the little finger, tap on the cuticle at the side of the nail that is closest to the ring finger. (Where the red dot is.)


When you have finished a round of tapping, stop and check in with yourself. How are you feeling? Has the troubling sensation in your body diminished? Is the emotional upset less? If not, you may do as many more rounds of tapping as you need to take the charge or edge off what you feel.

[An alternate way to apply this sequence is to tap on each point until it feels done. Instead of tapping five to ten times, you may tap for 15 to 20 seconds or more on each point.]

Give it a try. Let me know how it works for you. If you have any questions, please post them or send me an email.

Tell me how you feel after you've tried it. Tell me how it works for you.

From your energy coach,
Wanda Tucker

What motivates you?

People say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.

~ Zig Ziglar (speaker and author)

What motivates you?

Dreams of success?

The smiles on your loved one's faces?

Money? (Not having enough? Or wanting to accumulate more?)

Avoiding pain? (Prevention or alleviation?)

Looking good in the eyes of others? Or feeling good about yourself and what you have accomplished?

Acting on your spiritual or ethical values?

Different things can motivate us in particular circumstances. I am motivated to change the sheets on my bed by remembering the feel of crawling into a fresh bed. I am motivated to balance my checkbook because I want to avoid overdraft charges.

Sometimes my motivation directs me toward the outcome, and other times my motivation encourages me away from consequences I don't like. It is good to know whether we respond better to "toward" or "away from" motivations in each situation. Then we can better organize for success.

Think about some situations in your own life. Are you motivated by "toward" or "away from"? Then, tell me what works for you.

Your energy coach,
Wanda Tucker

Hey...guess what!

I'm going to be on the radio!

On Tuesday, November 22nd (10:30 a.m. Eastern / 7:30 a.m. Pacific), I will be on Coaching Corner as the guest of host, Irene Guttman.

The program is about gratitude--perfect for Thanksgiving week, don't you think?

The link above will allow you to catch the program by live stream. I hope you will join us. If you need any more information, feel free to email me. I'd love to hear from you. Or, if you want to post your questions here, I will answer them for everyone to see.

I am sure I will have more to say about it all later. For now, I just wanted to give you all a head's up. This should be fun!

Talk to you soon,
Wanda Tucker, your energy coach

Spiderman

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.
Epictetus, Roman Philosopher

This is my great-nephew. He loves Spiderman. I love this picture. Children take on the persona of their heroes with such zeal.

When I was a high school teacher, one of my students told about her little brother who became Aquaman by putting a pair of underpants on his head and looking through the leg holes. Unfortunately, he broke his arm jumping off the bunk bed...but he became Aquaman.

What is it that you would be? Maybe you don't want to be Spiderman or Wonder Woman. Maybe you seek to be a better mother or more of an adventurer. Maybe you want to find a new career or renew your passion in the one you have. Do you know what you have to do?

Tell me about it. I'd love to hear.

Wanda Tucker, your energy coach

Count your blessings

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many--not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

Charles Dickens

As one of my dear friends reflected recently, some days you're the stick, some days you're the pinata...but even the pinata is full of blessings.

This is one of those days when every time I try to "fix" something, I create another problem. (See...this isn't even the picture I wanted to use, but I couldn't delete it. I decided to leave it and trust that someone will enjoy seeing it here. Sigh.) So I am reminding myself. I have so many, many blessings.

I'd love it if you would share some of yours.

Wanda Tucker, your energy coach

Happy Birthday, Larry...

Larry, the Magnificat

(September 18, 1986 - September 17, 2004)

Copyright 2005. Wanda Tucker. All rights reserved.

The days are getting shorter. We are losing four minutes of daylight per day. The leaves are starting to turn. The nights are cooler. It's time for Larry to come curl up on the hearth and warm his toes by the fire.

I miss my feline bed warmer. I miss my friend...my 18 year old, extreme geriatric cat. On veterinary charts, that's what they called him. His age was the equivalent of 86 human years.

Has it only been a year?

I hope your toes are always warm and your joints flexible. Say "hi" to Daryl and Oliver for me.

Is your energy working for you?

(Marian Anderson, photographed by Carl Van Vechten, 1940)

"As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might."

Marian Anderson (1897-1993, Concert and Opera Singer)

Marian Anderson knew about people trying to keep her down. In 1939 the famous contralto sang on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on Easter Sunday at a concert that was arranged by Eleanor Roosevelt after the Daughters of the American Revolution refused to allow Ms. Anderson to sing in Constitution Hall. Why? Because she was black.

When she was turned away from music school because of her race, she continued her training with a private teacher. In 1955, at the age of 58, she became the first African-American to perform at the New York Metropolitan Opera. In 1972 she was awarded the UN Peace Prize, and she received a Grammy Award for Lifetime Achievement in 1991.

She soared anyway.

What keeps you from soaring? If the answer is nothing...tell me about how you do soar. Maybe your face will be on a stamp some day.

Wanda Tucker, Your Energy Coach

Marty

Marty. Copyright 2005. Wanda Tucker. All rights reserved.

On hot summer days, Marty likes to survey his territory from the deck. Occasionally, the need for a nap overtakes him. This is his imitation of a Flat Cat.

Marty - close up. Copyright 2005. Wanda Tucker. All rights reserved.

When he heard the shutter he opened his eyes...briefly.

Gandhi quote

Copyright 2005. Wanda Tucker. All rights reserved.

What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy.

~ Mohandas K. Gandhi ~

Why I allow only registered users to post

In the interest of spam reduction, I decided to allow only registered users to post to my blog. For some of you that may be an irritation, but I would venture a guess that if the spammers found the site, that would be an irritation to you, as well. Certainly, I would be irritated.

There are spam bloggers out there who will post comments to as many sites as will allow them to do so. They post the same kind of spam that we hate to get in our mailboxes--everything from low cost software to mortgages to pornography.

Need I say more?

So, in order to post to my site, you must be a registered Blogger user:

• What that means is that you must set up a Blogger account.
• You may still choose to be unidentifiable depending upon what user name you choose
• and what display name you use.
• Setting up an account is free.
• Once you have set up your account you may choose whether or not to start a blog of your own. (If you do, let me know.) Registering an account does not require that you blog.

How do you do it?

• When you click on the "comment" link, it will allow you to sign in as a registered user.
• That gives you a link to the page to set up an account.
• Or click on one of the links above.
• From there, all you have to do is fill in the blanks.

To those of you who find this annoying, I understand. To those of you who choose to set up an account and post, thank you. I appreciate it.

I love hearing from you. And I like knowing when you come by.

Wanda Tucker, Coach

What MUST you be?

A musician must make music,

an artist must paint,

a poet must write,

if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.

What a man can be, he must be.

~Abraham Maslow (1908-1970)

American Psychologist~

Cleaning Up the Aftermath

Treat the earth well.

It was not given to you by your parents,

it was loaned to you by your children.

We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors,

we borrow it from our Children.

~Native American Proverb~

Captain Robert Gray explored the Pacific Northwest in the late 1700s. I remember reading and learning about him when I was in elementary school. Then I came across a story in my local paper written by Larry Bingham. ["We are sorry" published July 24th, 2005 in The Sunday Oregonian; link not available.]

According to Mr. Bingham's story, William Twombly, a descendant of Robert Gray was reading about his ship captain forefather when he came across a disturbing story. Mr. Twombly had always heard the heroic adventures, but hadn't heard the less praiseworthy actions. In Columbia's River: The Voyages of Robert Gray by J. Richard Nokes, Mr. Nokes relates that Captain Gray burned the village of Opitsat and kidnapped and killed the brother of one of the chiefs of the Tla-o-qui-aht people.

William Twombly, upset by the story, decided to do something about it: a historical reconciliation--a modern day apology for the actions of his ancestor. Through a series of serendipitous events, Mr. Twombly connected with Joe Martin, a canoe carver descended from the tribe. Twombly met with Mr. Martin and the elders of the tribe to discuss how to proceed. He deferred to the tribal leaders in devising the protocol for the reconciliation.

In mid-July, the Tla-o-qui-aht people in their canoes met the Lady Washington (a replica of Gray's ship) when it sailed into Clayoquot Sound near the island where Opitsat village stood before it burned. Twombly read his apology from the ship:

"Many years ago, our ancestor came into your territory and your waters, and he's a man we have been proud of for many years. But as we have learned more of our history, and learned more of your stories, we have begun to realize that part of his story is one that has been disrespectful to your people. He abducted one of your great chiefs, the older brother of Chief Wickaninnish, the greatst chief on the west coast of Vancouver Island, of a great people...

"So we have come to honor you, to honor our shared history and to apologize for the insult that occurred at the hand of our ancestor, at the hand of our family many years ago, and to say we are sorry for his abducting and insulting your great chief and his family, and for the burning of Opitsat. It is something we have felt pain about, and we are now feeling great honor that you welcomed us back into your territory."

Then Barney Williams, Jr., the elected chief of the tribe responded:

"We want to thank you for your words, on behalf of Chief Wickaninnish. ...We hear your words, and our chiefs accept the words you have spoken to us. It is with good hearts that we carry you the rest of the way to our nation, to our homeland through these waters. We will guide you safely, our chiefs and our people will guide you safely. We accept your apology."

Both parties then went ashore to the site of the burned village. They ate together. They exchanged gifts. They spent the weekend together dancing, telling stories, and talking about the future.

How many more apologies do we need to make?

How many times will our descendants have to apologize for us?

"Let us walk softly on this Earth with all living beings great and small remembering as we go that one God, kind and wise, created all."

~Native American Blessing~

And then let's eat, exchange gifts, dance, tell stories, and talk about the future.

Non-Human Emotional Intelligence

(National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration photo courtesy of GeekPhilosopher.com)

My local paper prints a column called Earthweek. As the name suggests, the column tells the stories of the earth in review and most of the stories are not top headliners. They tell about severe weather patterns, earthquakes, and unusual animal behaviors...or at least animal behaviors that we humans tend to think of as unusual.

Whale Mourning

A whale mourning the death of her calf kept divers at bay who were attempting to retrieve the marine mammal's body on Australia's Gold Coast. The 13-foot baby humpback died after becoming entangled in nets intended to protect swimmers from sharks.

We are seeing more and more evidence of non-human animals having emotional lives and ongoing relationships. In another Earthweek column, monkeys who witnessed a poacher kill one of their troup then toss the body in the river went without eating for several days in order to comb upstream and downstream for the body.

I was so moved by these stories that I had to tell them here. Sharing the earth is not an option. It is a reality--plain and simple. Normally, I like to focus on the positive in this blog. What's positive about these stories? Seeing that we humans are not the only creatures that feel pain. Seeing that the world is bigger than we are and that we can be responsible to it and for it. As I said before, Take Care of What You Love.

We can make a difference. Giving back is part of the human expression.

Share with me the ways you are sharing the earth with non-human creatures...or anything else you are doing to make the world a more peaceful and compassionate place.

This is my great-niece at her fourth birthday party. She is five now. What a kid!

Even really good kids get sent to time out now and then. Recently, while sitting in one, she chipped the new paint from the wall. Her mom applied it only a few days before. Hey, I get it. It probably came off easy and felt good to peel it. Most likely, she was having a very satisfying kinesthetic experience.

Mom, however, lost her cool when she saw the fresh paint and had words with her daughter. Apparently, Mom had a lot of words...heated words. Hey, I get it. Painting is hard work. It is one of those jobs where you can stand back and see what you've done. When I paint a room, I expect the job to be pristine...for at least a week! Seeing chunks missing before the paint even sets would cause me frustration, too.

So my great-niece stood there, listened to her mom, and then said, "I know you are having a bad day Mom...and I know you are grumpy, but you need to get control of your temper!"


Tell us a story of a wonderful child...or of an emotionally mature moment (from a child or an adult).

Wanda Tucker, Coach

Bath Day for St. Francis

(St. Francis photo by Wanda Tucker copyright 2005)

Today I gave St. Francis (and the deck) a bath. Here in Oregon, everything is green. Sometimes, even things that didn't start out that way turn green with moss and algae over the fall and winter. St. Francis looked a bit more like St. Patrick prior to the high powered shower I gave him, and after a rain the deck could be used as a skating rink.

I work with people all week. I love it, but at the end of the work day, I can't always see what I have accomplished. Some days, I like doing jobs that show. When I am done I can point at the finished product and say, "Doesn't that look great?" This was one of those days. Now, until the fall and winter bring the next layer of green, I can sit in my living room and enjoy the sparkling, clean view of St. Francis on the deck.

What is your favorite task...the one you do for the sheer joy of how it looks and feels when you are done? Tell us about it and share the joy.

Wanda Tucker, Coach

A Job Well Done

I confess. I read the obituaries. In them I find inspiring stories about ordinary people who give birth to extraordinary accomplishments... people like Imogene Fagan.

During World War II, as more and more men joined the armed forces to fight the war overseas, women contributed at home, working in the shipyards and manufacturing plants. Their working these jobs challenged traditional notions of women's capabilities. Women in overalls carrying their tools to work inspired the song, Rosie the Riveter, in 1942. Norman Rockwell, one of America's most popular 20th century artists, painted this rendition, published as the cover of the Saturday Evening Post on May 29, 1943.

Imogene Fagan was a Rosie the Riveter. She worked in the Portland Shipyards as a welder during the war. The tradition was that when a landing craft was welded perfectly--with no leaks--the ship was named for the welder. If you follow this link, you will see a picture of Mrs. Fagan atop #939, Imogene Fagan...the ship she welded...perfectly.

Not only did Mrs. Fagan and the other Rosies contribute to the cause of their day by manufacturing the equipment and artillery needed by the military, but they also paved the way for women of the future by breaking down the stereotypes about what a woman can do. I am grateful on both counts.

We won't all get ships named for us and we don't always get to see the impact we make for future generations, but we can still be proud of work done well.

What accomplishments make you proud?

Tell us about a time the energy you put into something paid off.

Go ahead--be proud of your achievements.

I want to hear.

Wanda Tucker, Coach