Monday, March 26, 2007

Deal with it.

I'm not happy, I'm cheerful. There's a difference. A happy woman has no cares at all. A cheerful woman has cares but has learned how to deal with them.

Beverly Sills (1929-) American Opera Singer

We all cope. Some days we cope more effectively than others. Without our coping we would die--truly!

How do you deal?

Food? Alcohol? Rage?

Exercise? Prayer? Meditation?

I have two favorites.

One is writing. I have a journal where I spill my guts. God forbid that anyone should ever find it when I am gone--or now for that matter! You would not believe the whining and growling and mewling and puking I can put forth.

The other is talking to someone who loves me. Having a witness for my pain and an audience for my words is healing. Getting "it" outside myself helps.

Then there's music...and laughter.

How do you cope? Please, share with us. I'd love to hear.

Wanda Tucker, Coach

For a free 1/2 hour coaching session with Wanda, please email your request to

Thursday, November 30, 2006

What DOES it mean?

When things go wrong what DOES it mean?
Reality is, it doesn't mean anything...unless it does. You won't know until you get there.

Andi Mac

Have truer words ever been spoken? When something goes wrong, we humans try to figure out what happened.

We ask, "Why?" or "Why me?" and we start making up stories. Some of them are even good stories. Some of them are just futile attempts to make ourselves feel better by attributing meaning to a situation. In those futile attempts, we often go so far afield we never find our way back to center.

As Andi Mac says, we really don't know the why of it until we get there.

I suggest an attitude of curiosity.

"Hmm. I wonder what this is about?"

"Wow. I hope this makes sense at some point."

"There could be a reason for this. Maybe I'll recognize it when I get there."

Then pay attention. Develop awareness. Develop the state of paying attention in the moment and learn to connect the dots. Learn to see the patterns and it will all begin to make sense. Even when it doesn't make'll have more perspective by paying attention.

Does all of this sound obtuse? Give it a try. See what happens. Then, come back and let me know your experience.

I'd love to hear.

Wanda Tucker, Coach

For a free 1/2 hour coaching session with Wanda, please email your request to

Thursday, October 26, 2006

If you live to be a hundred...

If you live to be a hundred,
I want to live to be a hundred minus one day,
so I never have to live without you.

Winnie the Pooh

Thursday, October 05, 2006

The Love of My Life...

Okay...the four-footed one.

He's been gone two years now. If he had been able to hold on through the kidney disease, he would be 20 now.

He was my familiar. My friend. The love between us was deep and strong. Some say animals don't feel emotion. I disagree. I have no proof, but neither do they (the naysayers, I mean).

I loved taking pictures of him--especially pictures of him roosting or sleeping. Who knew that an "old man" cat could be so cute. Or was he just cute to me? Nah. He was cute.

He had a presence that was at least 6 foot 6, a spirit that could melt any hardness in my heart with one glance, and a purr in the range of the elephants' deep rumble. He rattled me loose. Even remembering him brings me to that same place of inner softness.

What softens your heart? I'd love to hear.

Wanda Tucker, Coach

For a free 1/2 hour coaching session, send an email request to

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Love Story

This story was sent to me by a regular reader and I wanted to share it with you for "Love Thursday":

"You know I do hair up at the nursing home here on Wednesdays. There is a lady up there whose hair I have done for awhile. Anyway, I have to tell you about her and her husband. The funny thing is they are Mr. and Mrs. Wright and trust me they are right for each other.

"She is in the Alzheimer unit and she is very mobile walks all over the place constantly. She is lucky if she weighs 80 pounds soaking wet and maybe in her 20s was 5 feet tall on a good day. She is also a former hairstylist. She is someone who doesn't speak much. When she tries to talk it is just babble. She is kinda grouchy (but I love her to death). She is resistant to go with me (or anyone) to have her hair done (or anything for that matter). So I learned a long time ago to call her husband when I had to work with her.

"When she sees him walk in the room she is a totally different person. She is calm, smiles, knows him. Calls him honey. She will do anything he tells her with a smile on her face. The funny thing is she is all over him. He sits next to her in a chair while I am giving her a perm and she likes to face him and put her legs up on his lap (smiling the entire time). When she is turned in the chair she will contort herself to touch him. The way they look at each other is like something in a movie. It is like they are 16 yrs old and it is their first love. You have to remember they are in their 80s and have been married forever and have 3 grown kids.

"It is almost something you have to witness because it is hard to describe the interaction between the two of them. It is witnessing true love. In today's day and age I don't think we see that and if you have that you are extremely lucky. He is up there a couple times a day to see and he worries about her so much. It makes me wonder if my marriage is that strong (I'd like to think so). They have the kind of relationship that no matter what your age you are envious of! Even though there is nothing at all dirty about it, it is almost like no one should be able to witness the intimacy there, and see the love, trust, and connection but there is no way not to. When you leave them you are happier person. If everyone had this kind of relationship there would be no divorce in the world.

"You don't have to use this story. It is just something I thought I would share with you since you are like me and like these happy, emotional stories. I just thought a story like should be shared."

I agree.

Have a great Thursday, everyone. May your day be full of love.

Wanda Tucker, Coach

For a free 1/2 hour coaching session with Wanda email your request to

Saturday, September 23, 2006

For the working woman--

Check this out!

Sean at Sean's Horse Farm and Family Blog was looking for some coveralls for his wife. Any woman who has ever looked for good quality work clothes knows how hard it is to find clothes that fit well the feminine form. Well, Sean found them.

Go to Charm and Hammer to find safety gear for the hard working woman in your life. (Looks like something Rosie would wear, doesn't it?) Sean suggests, "If you have a blog, why not spread the word and support Charm and Hammer, a woman owned store in Apex, NC."

Great idea, Sean. Thanks for supporting woman owned businesses. Let's all do what we can to help them out and spread the word.

If you buy something, let me know how it works for you. I'd love to hear.

Wanda Tucker, Coach

For a free 1/2 hour coaching session with Wanda, email your request to

Friday, September 22, 2006

What do you stand for?

The village was threatened by a tribe of barbarians. The inhabitants were abandoning their houses and fleeing to a safer place. At the end of a year they had all left – except a group of Jesuits.

The army of barbarians entered the city without any resistance and held a great feast to commemorate the victory. In the middle of the dinner a priest appeared.

“You came in here and drove out peace. I beg you to leave at once.”

“Why haven’t you fled yet?” shouted the chief of the barbarians. “Don’t you see that I can run you through with my sword without blinking an eye?”

The priest answered calmly: “Don’t you see that I can be run through by a sword without blinking an eye?”

Surprised by such serenity before death, the chief of the barbarians and his tribe abandoned the place the next day.

Thanks again to Warrior of Light for this story.

Sometimes all it takes to disarm a bully is to call his bluff...and when you really mean what you say, the odds go up exponentially. You don't always have to be ready to die for what you believe in to get the point across. Speak your truth in love. Easier said than done? Yes. The more I practice this art, however, the easier it becomes.

I don't like confrontation. When I must confront, I work on being centered. I state my truth. I name the problem. Even if I am afraid, I hold love and compassion out in front. I stand in my strength...with gentleness. I know what I know.

The more I find my center, the less I need to be combative to make my point. No fear. Just truth. I want to be like the priest in this story. No fuss. No muss.

We can all do it. Tell me about yours. I'd love to hear.

Wanda Tucker, Coach

For a free 1/2 hour coaching session, email your request to