Thursday, November 30, 2006

What DOES it mean?

When things go wrong what DOES it mean?
Reality is, it doesn't mean anything...unless it does. You won't know until you get there.

Andi Mac

Have truer words ever been spoken? When something goes wrong, we humans try to figure out what happened.

We ask, "Why?" or "Why me?" and we start making up stories. Some of them are even good stories. Some of them are just futile attempts to make ourselves feel better by attributing meaning to a situation. In those futile attempts, we often go so far afield we never find our way back to center.

As Andi Mac says, we really don't know the why of it until we get there.

I suggest an attitude of curiosity.

"Hmm. I wonder what this is about?"

"Wow. I hope this makes sense at some point."

"There could be a reason for this. Maybe I'll recognize it when I get there."

Then pay attention. Develop awareness. Develop the state of paying attention in the moment and learn to connect the dots. Learn to see the patterns and it will all begin to make sense. Even when it doesn't make'll have more perspective by paying attention.

Does all of this sound obtuse? Give it a try. See what happens. Then, come back and let me know your experience.

I'd love to hear.

Wanda Tucker, Coach

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Anonymous said...

No, it does not sound obtuse. I'll give it a try next time I feel that things are going wrong.

Wanda Tucker said...

"How does it get any better than that?" No, really?

It is one of my favorite questions. Instead of "It doesn't get any better than that!" ask how it gets better. It will.

Keep me posted.

Oregon's Superhero said...

This reminds me of when the rabbit ran away. Spencer was just maybe 5 and we went out to look around the front yard to find him. Now, mind you, living on 2 acres, that rabbit had a lot of room to roam.
After a while, he was quite sad, and a little dismaed of looking. So we sat down. I told him it was "time" - that what we needed to do was just to sit. If we waited, we might be able to feel where the rabbit was. And then we would use our senses to look for brushed down grass, or other clues - but that first we must get a sense of the rabbit.

He sat there for a long time... well, 5 minutes was a long time for me, being that I wasn't sure we were going to find anything.

But at the time it was to be, Spencer stood up and announced that the bunny would be over that way. ... It wasn't long and we found that rabbit.

Is that a Darlene's grandson story or what!!

Wanda Tucker said...

That's wonderful! Yes, Darlene's grandson has the gift.

Thanks for coming by.

graceonline said...

Wanda, I found this at just the right moment. Never doubt that your words have value and meaning.

Wanda Tucker said...

Thanks, grace. I am glad it was helpful.

sar_girl said...

This post has been on here for several months and I never really soaked it all in until....."I was there." Last week my husband had to have surgery and left his job 3 days before that (got tired of walking into a viper pit everyday). Anyway......after the fear, anger, worry, etc that goes a long with that there seems to be a lesson....patience and kindness. Since he not minging with the back stabbing at his former job he is kinder. Kinder to me and the childen and patient. Now during episodes where he would explode he remains a lot calmer and uses more reasoning. He even noticed it and said he feels like a weight has been lifted. As for jobs, there is always something out there. Peace of mind and happiness is more important than the all mighty dollar. So after his healing time is over and he is ready to go out again the work force I hope he chooses a carreer that will make him happy. I think we need to have a tragedy so we can see what we have been missing. It may seem like a tragedy at the time but they usually are a blessing in discise.

Wanda Tucker said...

I am so pleased that everyone is benefiting from his change of status. If his job was making him that miserable, it sounds like he did everyone a favor.

I don't know that we need a tragedy to make us see...but sometimes when tragedy strikes, it gives us a whole new perspective.

I admire your postive outlook. It will serve you well.

Thanks for weighing in on this.